We all need support to navigate life
Let’s make sure the structures we all depend on support everyone.
Our Framework
Let’s create communities where everyone can live full, healthy, joyful lives.
repairenting is all about sharing and practicing tools so adults and kids can live fuller, healthier, more joyful lives. We do this together because our brains and lives are all about relationships–with ourselves and each other. Our relationships impact each other.
But there’s something our brains can do with the “other” part of “each other.” Our brains can ascribe fear. Anger. Hatred. A sense of revulsion. Or maybe our brains take a different approach and the “other” of “each other” is idealized. Glorified. Or thought of as what’s “normal” or “safe” or “good.”
And when our brains begin to think that anyone who looks, sounds, or seems like that “other” will be a certain way…well, that’s when we’re likely to find our cultures and communities struggling with generational and current ruptures that oppress people who are viewed as “other” instead of “each other.” And then structures that support clean air and water; quality education; safe, affordable housing; accessible, reliable transportation; livable wages; health care; child care; and many more tend to center the needs of the “other” that is idealized or normalized and marginalize the “other” that is feared.
repairenting is committed to equity and liberation. We are working on recognizing and transforming the ways that our brains and structures find and designate “others” as we actively practice creating a community for each other to live full, healthy, joyful lives.
Will you do this work and practice with us?
What’s in a word?
Stress or Toxic Stress
Stress is part of the human experience. Life provides ample opportunities (being stuck in traffic, feeling unprepared for a test, starting a new job, going on a first date) for our nervous systems to feel some anxiety because we are not in control of what we’re experiencing. In common, everyday stress, our nervous systems are generally able to get back to a place of ease or calm when we feel a greater sense of control over our situation or have a chance to compassionately hold some space for the stressful situation we experienced.
Toxic stress is different than common, everyday stress. People can experience toxic stress when they experience strong, frequent, and/or prolonged adversity (like structural racism and oppression; ableism; homophobia; xenophobia; transphobia; sexual, physical or emotional abuse; neglect; extreme poverty; or severe parental depression) without adequate support.
Toxic stress can impact the architecture of a child’s developing brain. Let’s remember that we can all be architects to help people live fully. Be present. Believe the child and believe in the child. And help dismantle oppressive structures in our communities and culture to rebuild safe, humane structures that uphold the uniqueness and dignity of each other.
Let’s Do This Thing Together
Creative Expression: Coming Back to Each Other
Hey there, wonderful parent and person in your own right.
Let’s practice coming back to each other.
Note: this exercise may be short, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. We expect you may feel discomfort through this process.
We invite you to try out the following (or whatever part(s) resonate with you):
- Take about 5 minutes to relax and try to feel present with this moment. Any chance there’s a quiet space you can find in your home? You may want to close your eyes and focus on your breath for a few minutes or moments. Perhaps you can find more of a sense of your center and calm and presence.
- Think about a group of people you think of as “other.” This is a space to get real.
- Imagine the face of one adult who you think is part of this group of “other.” It’s okay to think of the face of someone you know. It’s okay to imagine the face of someone you don’t know.
- As you imagine this person’s face, ask yourself, “I wonder what their favorite candy was when they were 6 years old?” Yes, actually ask yourself this question and take just a moment to imagine an answer.
- Come back to this question when you meet, are around, or see on TV someone you think is part of this group of “other.” For just a moment, wonder what their favorite candy was when they were 6 years old.
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